Pray For Me

I came into this school with such a strong mindset. I had planned out how I was going to live my life for Christ and how I would strengthen my relationship with him so I can help others. Little did I know that, I was going to fall back in this deep. Everything about me feels fake, my life, my words, my identity. I know that i am not being true to my self. That I am back in the same cycle again, battling, trying to find my way out once again. I thought that God wanted me to be a youth minister, to help kids and young adults. But i am not so sure anymore, I feel leaning towards missions right now. But am I only doing this to find an excuse but who am I to question God. It's so hard, but I am glad I have positive and Godly people in my life helping me. I thank God that these friends have not abandoned me as other have. But, I have in a situation where I do not know where to go from here. Due to financial instabilities and personal conflicts, I do not know if I am meant to stay here or move on. I do believe that I was sent here for a reason, maybe to reveal that I wasn't that strong in my faith and that I am not ready yet to help lead others.  Maybe that this was a learning experience so I can do better next time? I just ask that each one of you who is taking the time to read this, to pray for me. I need as much prayers as I can get. Thank You!